Do you have any OCD like tendencies? Are they kind of funny? Do they interfere with your day to day life?

First off, I didn't choose the title for this hub---It was a question asked by a fellow hubber that I felt compelled to answer.  I would have changed the title to my sub-heading:  Having a young child with OCD is heart breaking.  

While I do have a few OCD habits I decided to write about my son who is now 6 years old. First, let me preface this with both my husband and I have OCD tendencies. The husband worse than I: HE takes his shoes off and ties the laces so they will be neatly placed in the corner, all breakfast food must be in "the breakfast cabinet" , canned goods go in "the canned goods cabinet" with labels all in military style order--IF something is misplaced he loses his mind and has to reorganize it. He is not easy to live with. Together we apparently made a child who has inherited OCD.

As an infant he needed mommy to put him to sleep. I thought it was pretty normal for an infant to just want to be rocked to sleep, but with most babies they are happy in any family member's arms; daddy, grandma, grandpa,should all be able to step into that role, but not my child--only mommy could put him to sleep. Everyone would say: You need to break him of that, he needs to cry it out. I just couldn't though. I mean it would go on for two hours--you could not win that battle. The screams were those of a child afraid of the person holding him. It would break my heart. As soon as I took him into my arms he would sob himself to sleep. He would grab onto my fingers and drift off to sleep. Of course there were the usual baby preferences for a certain blanket, a soft stuffed animal, and that sanity saving pacifier. All of these I thought were just the norm. OCD didn't cross my mind at all. I just thought---he is just attached to mommy and his favorite things..

At the age of one and a half he started exhibiting traits of OCD, such as lining things up in perfect rows, getting angry if I put a toy back in a spot that wasn't its usual place, needing to sit in particular chairs, etc. By two years he was really a slave to himself to the point that I was in tears on a daily basis. He could not function if a routine was broken. Every night before bedtime he would have me make him a warm sippy cup of milk, there was a song and a little dance that had to be done while I heated it up, we had to sit on the same spot on the couch with my shoes off and feet flat on the floor with my hands at my sides, I couldn't scratch my nose if it itched without him throwing a fit. We would have to sit in that spot until he fell asleep in my arms after which I would carry him downstairs and breathe a sweet sigh of relief and cry as I looked at him sleeping so peacefully.

Other habits started shortly after turning two. When he would walk down the stairs and skip a step he would have to go back to the step he missed and step on it before he could continue on. When getting into the car he would move the seat belt back fourth four times before he let me buckle it. He would count the bars on his bed each night over and over and over. I became a slave to his behavior and I cried every day. I felt like I was losing my mind and worse, I cried because he was trapped in this world that I couldn't break him out of. When company would come over they would all have to sit in the same seats as last time or he couldn't function. Grace--I can't even tell you how hard it is to get through grace. God forbid someone is folding their hands instead of pointing all fingers upward. His quirks just got worse as he went through the terrible twos and into his threes. He would have to put the cover on the sippy cups, stir the chocolate milk, prepare his own sandwiches. He wanted to do everything--dangerous things like plugging in electric cords and turning on stoves. I kept reading up on things, consulting with doctors and even went to a behavior specialist who said he did not exhibit signs of ADD or ADHD but he definitely showed "mild signs" of OCD. MILD? Are you nuts? Of course he was in an outside environment and didn't have routines set up there so he couldn't really act up or demonstrate the habitual behaviors, but I guarantee if we were going for weekly sessions they would have said: He had a more progressive case of OCD. They said things could be worse. He could be so bad that he would freak out at McDonald's because he couldn't make the burger himself and things of that nature.

I was developing depression and my nerves were shot. I was crying on a daily basis and that was making him worse too. What kind of life was my son going to live like this? How was I going to keep myself together? When I learned that I was pregnant with my second child I was of course excited but so fearful that I would have two cases on my hands. I worried too about how I would take care of the new baby and deal with the big brothers behavior. When I became pregnant I vowed to break him of the quirks. I was determined to do it for his sake and for mine. It was not easy, it took a long time, there were many many many tears on both our parts and it didn't happen over night, but I slowly transitioned him away from the behaviors. It didn't take drugs (for him) but it took a lot of long days and nights. The warm sippy cup routine was cut to just heating it up. There was no more song, no dance, no sitting on the couch in the same spot, etc. I just kept consoling him when he cried that it was okay and that we didn't have to do the routine. I had to reassure him that it is okay if we sit somewhere else... even fun! Today at the age of 6 he is much much better. He doesn't count everything, he doesn't really have any of the old quirks at all. Well, maybe one which is pulling up his shirt and pants legs when I tuck him in at night because he likes the cold sheets on his skin. He is still stubborn at times and tries to have control over situations and there are tears about it when mom and dad say no, but it is more like the tantrum of the every day child. He gets a time out if he keeps insisting on something unreasonable and when time out is done I reinforce why crying and screaming about it isn't worth his while. The tantrums are fewer and last a fraction of the time that they once did. He is maturing and accepting that he can't control everything and to let it go. I am hopeful that he will continue to make progress but I do know that it will take a lot of patience and work on all of our parts.